DIB
by DeathlyFlames
Summary: After a mishap with Zim and Gir, Dib and Gir switch minds. With Zim using it to his advantage, things couldn't get any worse. Unless, of course, Dib finds himself on an autopilot sequence straight for Irk.
1. Mistakes

**Author's Note: So this is the plotbunny of the evening. I had the idea while attempting to draw Gir. I made Dib into a SIR unit and I liked the idea of him trading places with Gir. I realize that Gir had a similar experience with "Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain", but I don't know if I'll even continue this. Let me know if you think it's worthwhile. **

**Also, for those of you who want a continuation of Eternity, I have an update. I am still playing with the idea of continuing it, considering I like the sharp punch of Dib's death. I may just leave it up to my readers to imagine if Dib really is still alive or not. We'll see what happens. For now, enjoy~**

**EDIT::: This has been renamed D.I.B. and a whole new plot as been introduced. It works off of the same first chapter so if you have already read this, it hasn't changed. Enjoy!  
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**~DeathlyFlames**

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><p>D.I.B. Chapter 1<p>

Dib secured his belt as he was walking down the street towards Zim's house. He was ready. This was the day he was going to finally capture hard evidence of Zim on film. He would be famous for his discoveries! Dying sunlight fell on his skin and his footsteps were almost silent on the pavement. The streets were empty as families filed into their respective kitchens and eating areas to share their communal meals. He would have to save dinner until late, however, because he had much more important things to attend to. Like saving the world.

As he approached Zim's conspicuous home, he noticed the stupid robot had left the window open again, and he silently cheered to himself. This _was_ the perfect day for exposing his sworn enemy! He pulled his mask over his head, leaving himself cloaked entirely in black, leaving only a space for his glasses. His plan was simple. And it would definitely work.

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><p>Zim emerged from his lab, entering the living room through an elevator in the floor. He was in good spirits today, having created the cleverest invention ever. It was simple. He would capture the Dib, and use his new machine to control Dib-stink's mind completely. He got the idea from when he used Pastulio to control his classmate's actions. His ingenious machine would magnify that same power, making the Dib into his human slave. And with the Dib out of the way, Zim could rule the Earth with no interruptions! Zim laughed, the tones echoing through his domicile.<p>

"This plan is flawless! Now I just need to find the Dib-worm…" Zim pondered this for a moment. Just _how_ could he get the Dib to use the machine on him? Zim looked around the room and stopped when he saw the window.

"Gir!"

"Yes, my master!" The tiny robot flashed red, saluting his Irken commander.

"Gir, did you leave the window open again?" the Irken shouted at his henchman.

"Oh, yeah…" Gir returned to his previously teal state and returned to monitoring Earth broadcasts. Zim stomped over to the window and shut it before turning towards Gir once more.

"Gir! You can't keep leaving the base so exposed! When you leave windows and doors open it cases a hole in the security! I'm going to be in the lab. Don't let anyone in." he sighed and started back towards the entrance to his lab.

Dib felt himself losing his grip on the wiring. He was right above the alien's head, watching as he yelled at his companion. He closed his eyes and hoped that Zim would go back into his lab before he fell from his position. Where he was, he was perfectly hidden. But one wrong move and he would be sent tumbling to the floor, at the mercy of his sworn enemy. He opened his eyes and watched as the green boy stepped closer and closer to the exit. Each second seemed like an eternity as he felt his fingers slowly sliding down the metal wire. He tried to wrap his legs more securely around the metal, and cursed to himself as he completely dislodged himself from the ceiling. He felt himself fall, then crash into the floor.

Zim turned, startled, PAK legs at the ready. He grinned maliciously as he saw Dib land on his floor, right in front of him. Dib's eyes widened and Zim took the opportunity and sent his razor-sharp metal spears right at the frightened boy. Dib scrambled to his feet and started to run, stopping only when he felt the chilled metal as it ripped through each shoulder. His face went white and he shrieked. Fear was the only thing on his mind as he started sliding back towards the alien across the floorboards. He yanked at the legs, hoping to dislodge them from his flesh. It was no use; they wouldn't budge. He felt the warm blood as it dripped from his shoulders and he was suddenly a prisoner. He struggled against Zim as he pulled him close. He dragged Dib over to the elevator and wrapped one hand around his neck, keeping them close together. The elevator was not meant for many people. As much as Zim hated being this close to the filthy pig smelly, he didn't want his precious slave being injured by the elevator.

Dib felt his vision waver somewhat, the loss of blood finally getting to him. As he was brought into the bowels of Zim's base, he saw only flashes. He saw red machinery, large screens, blinking lights and a low mechanic hum resonated through the area. Zim dragged him through two doors, into a room with a computer screen and a large glass pod. Wires extended from the top of the pod to the machinery beside it.

"Computer, activate dome." Zim barked the command to seemingly nothing, yet the computer responded by lifting the pod from the floor. Dib was shoved into it, the legs ripping from his skin. His scream was weak, but he turned to face Zim. The pod had closed quickly, milliseconds after Zim had released Dib from his PAK, so Dib didn't have time to jump out. He screamed at Zim, his words muffled by the glass. He pounded his fists on the walls of his prison, fatigue slowing his actions. Dib felt his shoulders scream with each movement, but he kept up the fight. He would _not_ go down easily. Zim threw his head back and laughed. It was a sickening sound to Dib, and he heard it almost every day. That laugh chilled him to the bone. It was evil and spoke of pure malevolence. The laugh of his enemy.

Zim had retraced his legs back into his PAK and he stepped over to the blinking machinery. He pushed some buttons, and spoke to the computer. Dib watched as Zim laughed once more and a loud humming started. It came from above him, signaling the start of the machine. His fists pounded harder with the new determination. He pressed his shoulders and feet against each side of the glass, pushing with every fiber of his being. Nothing moved; not even a crack in the glass. The humming became a whirring, and the machine started sparking. Dib looked at Zim and noticed sparks flying behind him. He looked closer at the source and saw Gir pulling on wires. He took the sparking ends and put them in his metal mouth and head, laughing uncontrollably.

Zim heard Gir too late. He turned to yell at the robot for interrupting him, only to find his henchman had taken the wires to his precious machinery and was playing with the sparks. He had two wires in his head, and three in his mouth. His laughter was muffled, but ecstatic nonetheless. Zim gasped and ran at him.

"Gir! Get away from the machine! You'll ruin everything! Stop it! Stop it now!" He tried to yank the wires away from the robot, but was sent backwards with a shower of blue sparks. Dib looked above him and saw the machine here had started sparking wildly, a circular metal disk was spinning and a light flashed. Dib covered his face with his arm and waited.

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><p>Nothing happened. Dib opened his eyes and looked around. He was out of the tube! He stood up and ran towards the door, before being stopped short. He reached up to his head and pulled out large wires. Horrified, Dib tried to yell. A muffled screech came from his mouth.<p>

"What?" he stated quietly, observing his situation. He saw Zim waking up to his right. The alien rubbed his head and glared at Dib.

"Gir! Look at what you did now! You broke my perfect machine!" Dib blinked. Gir? He looked at himself. He was made of metal. The stupid robot must have done something when he was playing with the wires. He started to hyperventilate, but stopped himself. He was Gir, Zim's loyal henchman. He didn't take long to formulate another plan. Since he was in the mind of his enemy's only confidante, he would use it to his advantage. What better way could he be undercover? He grinned and spoke to Zim, his voice more high pitched than usual, with a slight metallic ring to it.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to break your machine-thingy." Zim looked taken aback as Gir admitted to his mistake, but accepted it.

"Yes, Gir, it is about time you realized how inferior you are to Zim!" Zim grinned to himself, "Now go upstairs and monitor some more Earth broadcasts. I need to fix this mess!" Dib looked at the pod for the first time since he realized he wasn't himself. His body was still there, eyes closed and slumped against the glass.

Zim shook his head as he checked for Dib's pulse. The Dib was alive, but the shock had knocked him unconscious.

"Computer, ready Holding Cell 6 for the filthy human." Dib saw himself being carried by Zim's PAK legs towards another door before he left the room. If he was going to pretend to be Gir, he would have to do what Zim says, even if the thought of obeying that alien made him physically sick.


	2. DIB

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! So this is "Keep Your Enemies Close" chapter 2! Now called D.I.B. it is a whole new adventure and I hope you enjoy! My chapters are shorter than they normally are, but they'll get longer as the story progresses. ^^  
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**~DeathlyFlames**

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><p>D.I.B. - Chapter 2<p>

Dib had been sitting on Zim's couch, staring at the TV, for hours. Mostly it was old cartoons and children's shows, and Dib dared not to watch Mysterious Mysteries with Zim lurking around every corner. Dib sighed. He missed that show. He held the remote in his metal grip and clicked through channels, not really looking at what he surfed past.

He had heard a surprising amount from Zim; information he would previously have only dreamed of learning. The alien spoke of how the Dib was still unconscious, yet stable. Zim had him locked in a holding cell below ground. Dib was surprised to learn that Zim also talked to himself, and that particular habit was one that they shared. Somehow, that didn't make him feel any better about.

Dib looked around the house again, glancing past the toilet in the kitchen, the trashcan, and over to the elevator. Zim was in the lab, along with all of his alien information, so that left Dib very little in the way of spying. He had tried to watch Zim work before, but was shooed out of the room. Apparently the alien did not have a fondness for the company of this particular robot. Dib perked up when he heard the telltale sign of Zim coming back, a loud whirring and an airy "whoosh!" sound. Zim came out of the trashcan, stood, and dusted himself off. He had a maniacal grin on his face.

"Gir!" Zim barked. Dib took this opportunity to escape from the monotony of television and hopped to his feet. He saluted Zim the way he had seen Gir do the day before.

"Yes, master?" Dib spat out the word 'master', only to chastise himself afterwards. He still had not become accustomed to the idea that he, Dib Membrane, was subservient to alien scum like Zim. Luckily, Zim did not seem to notice his slip up, and continued speaking.

"It is time for our new plan, Gir. With the Dib in our base, safely locked away, there is no longer a threat to our mission. Come, we are heading out to put my new, brilliant plan into action!"

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><p>Dib followed Zim to the woods on the outskirts of the city. It was evening and clear, and Dib reveled in the sight of every star. It was so beautiful. Zim had yet to explain his plan, so Dib took a chance and spoke up.<p>

"Umm…sir…what is the plan again?" Dib waited for Zim to realize he wasn't his loyal robot, that he was in fact his sworn enemy in disguise, but Zim didn't seem fazed.

"It's nice to see you taking an interest in my plans, Gir! And since it is a brilliant and wonderful plan, I shall tell you! Let Zim reveal this amazing truth and you will be amazed!" Zim grinned.

Dib was dumbfounded. Zim's actual plan was to capture a moose and unleash it on the city. The mind control machine still hadn't been fixed, however, so Zim was starting part one: capture the moose. Then, when Zim had fixed the machine, he would use it to control the moose's mind and send him out to do Zim's will.

"That's a stupid plan. It'll never work!" Dib said without thinking. Zim stopped and turned, a questioning look spread across his face.


	3. Complications

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I appreciate and love every review I have gotten. I am up to chapter five in my writing but I shall keep you all in suspense. *evil author laugh* Also loves to my awesome friend and unofficial beta Meggi of MysteriOusStranger. Link here: .net/u/1054584/ . Love her! She is an amazing author of over 50 stories! Anyway, reviews and comments and constructive criticism loved. Enjoy chapter 3!**

**~DeathlyFlames**

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><p>D.I.B. Chapter 3<p>

Dib shrunk back. He couldn't believe that he had just said that to Zim while he was supposed to be undercover. He cursed silently to himself as Zim looked him up and down. He should have spent more time observing the behavior of this stupid robot, not just Zim, but at the time it had seemed so unimportant…

"Fool! You dare to question the plan of the almighty Zim? Zim is amazing and therefore the plan is amazing!" Zim turned back and continued walking through the forest.

Dib sighed, relieved that his mistake went unnoticed. He chuckled to himself. Zim really _was_ an idiot…

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><p>Zim was irate because there had been no moose in sight. They had walked through the forest all night to no avail. As they arrived home, Dib watched the sun rise over the horizon. He had been in this stupid robot for two whole days and it was only so long before his family and the school noticed his absence. Generally, he went unnoticed, but they can only be ignorant for so long before they realize the missing child. Today was Monday morning. He should be in school, foiling Zim's plans and trying to expose him as an alien.<p>

"It's Monday, aren't you going to school?" Dib questioned. Zim merely waved it off.

"No time for such trivial matters, Gir! There is too much work to be done! I'm going to the lab to check on the Dib-beast." Zim started towards the toilet.

"Can I come with you?"

Zim gave Dib an odd look. "Gir, you sure are acting weirdly lately. But I suppose there's no harm in sharing my brilliant plans with you." He patted Dib's head and he followed Zim down the toilet.

Zim's lab was extensive. Dib was in awe as they passed many doors and rooms, all filled with strange alien machinery. The entire base was tinted red, and Dib wasn't sure if it was the lighting or what the machines were made out of. Dib wished he could take a sample of the "metal" that he and the various machines were made out of. It seemed incredibly resilient and worth studying.

The sight of his own body in an alien cell, slumped against a wall, disturbed Dib. That was _his_ body, and it was full of the stupid alien machine. Zim unlocked the door and slipped inside, instructing Dib to stay out. Zim kicked Dib's body, causing it to fall over.

"Hey, Dib-stink, wake up!" Zim kicked him again, harder this time. Dib cringed as he heard a crack. He couldn't physically feel the pain, but subconsciously he thought he could.

Dib's former eyes opened. Robot Dib felt a wave of shock wash over him, then fear. He hasn't been acting normal, Zim even said so. Zim isn't so stupid that he couldn't recognize his own robot.

Gir was silent as he sat up. He blinked a couple times, not saying a word. Zim laughed and kicked him again. Gir looked at Zim and screamed in terror at the attack from his master. Zim, unaware that Dib's body had Gir's mind, kept kicking and prodding him. To him, the scream was the sweet surrender of Dib to his all knowing alien master.

Dib panicked. He had no idea what he should do. He could run, but then he would expose himself when Zim might not recognize Gir. His only option was to keep up the façade and hope that the alien didn't notice.

Gir jumped up and shook on the bars, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Why, master? Why are you hurting me? Waaaaaah! I'm sorry!"

Zim stopped kicking. He grinned and peered down at Gir.

"Master? So you finally recognize me as the genius that I am? It's about time Dib-human! I am Zim and I am amazing!"

Dib relaxed a little at Zim's ignorance.

"Dib? I'm Gir!" Gir looked around before slamming his fist onto his head. Frustrated he yanked at the top of his skull, willing his head to open. He started screaming again. "Cu…cupcake? Where is my cupcake? Why does everything look funny?"

Zim looked between Dib and Gir, his mind working out the situation. It took a minute, but the information seemed to click in his green head. He looked once more at Gir before walking over to Dib. He stood and looked him over, searching for inconsistencies. It seemed like an eternity before he spoke.

"Dib?"


	4. Schemes

**Author's Note: (Didn't she just update last night at like midnight?) Why yes, yes I did. Why am I updating a mere 7 hours later when I can use all my awesome author powers to keep you in suspense? Because I am just amazing like that. Just kidding. :P I'm doing it because a mere 7 hours after posting this story, I awoke to find 2 (count 'em TWO) reviews! In 7 hours! And I got a new fan who faved and alerted! I'm so happy I could dance! I love all of you and all your support and loves! Oh, I was asked in a review by YaoiGirly, "What does D.I.B. stand for?" and I already replied to her, but I figured you all should get to know. So, any Invader Zim fan knows that S.I.R. stands for Standard issue Information Retrieval unit. I wanted D.I.B. to go with the whole S.I.R. thing on account of Dib being in Gir's body, but I am just so super amazing that I came up with an acronym. That's right, D.I.B. actually means something! Yay! It means Data retrieval and Information Backup unit. Now I challenge you all to guess why I named him that. :P**

**I also want to say we are all so very lucky that I have an amazing Beta who sends chapters back in a matter of hours, allowing for such spontaneous updates. Her name is Meggii of Mysteri OusStranger and I am so fortunate to have her and her amazingness as one of my best friends in the whole world. I love her to death. In fact, I love her so much, heres a link to her profile .net/u/1054584/. She writes for awesome stuff like Harry Potter and Naruto and many others. Check her out, you wont regret it.**

**I know, I ramble. Sorry, I'm very ADD. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

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><p>D.I.B. Chapter 4<p>

Zim was looking at Dib incredulously. He couldn't believe that a filthy human had tricked him!

Dib was horrified. Zim _knew_. Zim grinned and Dib turned to run, to escape from the malicious alien who was most certainly going to kill him. His metal feet sprinted down the hallway, and momentarily Dib felt that he was free, that he was going to escape. He stopped; his legs lifted off the ground.

Zim had grabbed Dib by one arm, leaving him dangling in mid air. Dib struggled against his captor, moving frantically to shake himself loose, to no avail.

"Gir! Get out of that cage!" Zim shouted at the very confused henchman.

Gir stepped out of the cage and Zim replaced him with Dib, who was thrown carelessly against the wall. Zim locked the door and laughed maniacally. Gir stood in the hall, looking between himself and Dib, panic-stricken.

"Master, why am I there? If I'm there, how am I here? Who is that; why am I like this; where is my cupcake?" Gir wailed, shaking the bars of Dib's cage.

"Gir! Shut up!" Zim practically hissed at Gir, who stopped panicking. He perked up.

"I'm gonna make some waffles!" Gir bounded down the hallway and through the doors.

Zim turned back to Dib and laughed again, the sound making Dib cringe.

"So, Dib-worm! You thought you could trick Zim? I am so amazing, I saw through your pathetic ruse! I knew it was you all along!"

"Liar! I fooled you!" Dib shouted.

Zim sneered. "You did not fool Zim! Zim fooled you! And now it is time to put my real plan into action!"

Dib watched as Zim slowly walked down the hall, laughing.

"You won't get away with whatever you're planning, space-boy! I'll stop you!" Dib yelled after his enemy.

Zim didn't even acknowledge him.

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><p>The next day, Zim packed Gir up for school. He was wary about letting his minion join him at the educational facility, pretending to be his sworn enemy, but he didn't have a choice. If he didn't send him to school, the puny human authorities would get involved. He couldn't have that. Besides, he needed Gir at school to fulfill his latest ingenious scheme. He was glad he fixed the mind control machine the previous night. This was perfect.<p>

"Now, do you know the plan, Gir?" Gir nodded and jumped up and down, singing a song about school to himself. Zim sighed. "Just remember, you are _Dib_. So try and act like him." Gir nodded again before running out of the door. "Computer! Double security while I'm gone. We can't have the Dib-worm escaping."

The school day went better than Zim expected. Though Gir couldn't manage to at least act like a completely normal human worm-baby, the pathetic humans didn't even notice. Zim grinned as he basked in his genius and led Gir outside and down the street. They stopped in front of Dib's home.

"Gir it is time to put my plan into action! You know what to do."

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><p>Dib spent the day thinking. Because of his newly attained robot form, he no longer needed sleep. Zim knew he wasn't Gir. He wondered what Zim could possibly want from him? Information on humans, maybe? Dib could always lie, too.<p>

Dib considered every angle, and they all lead to one conclusion – Zim was keeping him alive to torture him. He could never be allowed to leave, not with insider knowledge on Irkens. Though no one would believe him, Dib believed it was more than just that. He believed that Zim _liked_ seeing him like this; caged and defenseless. Dib felt anger rising in his chest as he thought of Zim laughing at him, teasing him, torturing him for an eternity. Maybe Zim would put him back in his human form. Dib considered this option and it made him happy momentarily despite his bleak situation. Then it hit him. If he was human again, then he would feel pain again. He missed his human body and all the feelings and sensations along with it, but Dib was sure that there tortures Zim could devise that no one in their most twisted fantasies ever could. He shivered at the thought.

'_At least for now, I'm safe_.' he thought to himself. While he was a robot, all Zim could do was taunt him.

Dib heard faint talking a few rooms away. Zim. He leaned into a corner and waited.

Soon Dib heard Zim's voice again. He was laughing and gloating. But as he approached the cell where Dib was, Dib realized that instead of the light steps of the alien, he heard a second set of footsteps. When the two arrived at Dib's cell, despair fell over the captive.

Zim walked up to the filthy human in his cell and grinned.

"I've brought you a surprise, Dib-human." Zim announced, patting his companion on the back. He watched as the earth monkey beheld the sight of his father in disbelief.

"D…dad? Wha…?" Dib stuttered. His _father_? _Here_?

"Yes, Earth stink, I have brought your parental unit for a visit."

Dib reached his tiny arm out to his dad, only to retract it suddenly. Though his father's eyes were invisible behind his goggles, Dib saw that his father hadn't even acknowledged his presence. But why?

The mind control machine. Zim must have fixed it.

"What do you want from my dad, you filthy alien scum?"

Zim just kept beaming. "Oh, nothing. But your father was telling me all about how he wants to build a machine that will destroy all life on Earth."

"No…" Dib stared in disbelief. With his father's connections and intelligence, it was _possible_ for him to build such a machine. Dib felt utterly defeated as Zim walked away with his father.

"See ya later, Dib-slug!"

Zim was going to singlehandedly destroy the world and Dib couldn't stop him this time.


	5. Autopilot

**Author's Note: Against the suggestion from my wonderful Beta, I am uploading a day early. God knows I have no life whatsoever until this Fall when I start at college. What else can I do but write and update? I know this story is pretty uneventful right now, considering my summary says exactly what happens until this chapter, but work with me. I have lots more chapters planned filled with all sorts of excitement and fun. This is just the introduction. Just you wait, I'm excited to write it so you will be excited when you read it. :P I ramble so I have to get a little disclaimer-ish credit thing out of the way.**

**BETA (unofficially) - Meggii of Mysteri OusStranger .net/u/1054584/. This amazing girl has written for Naruto, Harry Potter, among others. Though she doesn't write Invader Zim, she is amazing in other categories. Look her up, you won't regret it.**

**CREDIT - My super awesome friend Sam had the idea for Professor Membrane's machine. I'm not giving it away if you haven't started the story so what the machine does is all Sam's idea. I love her oodles for it. She doesn't have a fanfiction, so enjoy her amazing art on DeviantArt. .com/**

**Well anyway, sorry for updating a day early, Meggi. Enjoy ~**

**~DeathlyFlames**

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><p>D.I.B. Chapter 5<p>

Dib had a plan. During the month he spent jailed in Zim's basement, he knew exactly what he had to do. He remembered seeing Gir unleash hidden weapons from his head in the past. Now he practiced. He learned how to function his tiny SIR body, and how to use Gir's tools. He spent weeks testing each weapon, finding the perfect ones for escaping. He also found that Gir had rockets imbedded in his feet and spent plenty of time learning how to control and function the tiny engines. Not only that, but he discovered that his head could hold a number of items. As to how full his head could get, he wasn't sure, but after a dozen cupcakes, three muffins, a bowl of mashed potatoes, a beehive, a slushie, and a plushie octopus had been removed, Dib was sure he could carry just about anything he wanted.

Zim never came to visit him after the day he saw his father. He didn't know what Zim had done about his absence at school. He did know that even if the police got involved, they would never find him as a robot, only Gir, in Dib's human form.

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><p>Dib was ready for Zim when he came. He knew that Zim would have to gloat before he left to destroy the world. He was right.<p>

"Hello, Dib-slug! I hope you're comfortable down here. I brought you a present." Zim was smirking.

Dib just wanted to punch that stupid look off his face. Zim pulled a TV into view and turned it on. Dib saw his father standing on a podium. An unbelievable large machine stood behind him. Giant tubes were spilling out of a box. It looked ominous. The crowd was speaking excitedly, their words unintelligible. A woman stood in front of the camera, microphone in hand and a fake smile plastered to her mouth in bright red lipstick.

"Good morning! I am here at the unveiling of Professor Membrane's new machine. He has not yet revealed the purpose of the machine, but after his previous inventions, including Super Toast, we expect great things!"

The crowd hushed as Professor Membrane signaled to speak.

"Good morning, citizens." His voice had a robotic tone to it, his speech coming through almost monotone.

Dib couldn't believe the city didn't notice that he wasn't his usual enthusiastic self. Wait. Yes he could. Dib knew that only he could recognize the chilling difference, just like he knew no one would believe Zim is an alien.

Dib glared at his enemy. Zim merely laughed, then turned and left. Dib could still hear his sickening laugh even after he exited. Dib stared at his father once more.

"Today I have a new invention to show you. I have created a machine that will solve world hunger. With the help of this machine, I will turn the entire earth into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

The crowd cheered, not understanding the concept behind transforming the Earth. Dib panicked. That would kill everyone. Without water, gravity, or oxygen, the world would die.

He didn't need to hear any more. Without hesitation, the boy used the combination of a saw and a flamethrower to carve a small hole in the bars. Zim's alien metal may be stronger than normal metal, but it had no chance against its own alien technology. As soon as he was free, he used his jets to propel himself out of the base.

Once on the street, Dib realized he made a mistake. He hadn't listened to where the machine was being unveiled. He cursed to himself and flew as high up as he could to try to spot the congregation. Once the entire city was in view, he saw the location: on the other side of the city. He didn't have much time; he knew Zim would make the Professor start the machine soon.

It took an agonizing amount of time to reach the location, but he was relieved to see his dad hadn't started the machine yet; he was holding a button and speaking about how amazing Zim was. Zim was smiling and standing next to him.

Dib grinned, seeing his chance. He unleashed a rocket launcher from his head and set the target lock on the remote.

"It's too late, Zim! I won't let you get away with this!" Dib shouted at his opponent.

Everyone looked up at the tiny robot aiming a rocket at the machine that would end world hunger. Before Dib could shoot, he was knocked down by various pieces of trash being thrown at him. He was knocked off course and lost altitude. He heard Zim laugh.

"Foolish human! I am Zim and I cannot be beaten by a filthy pig smelly like you!"

Dib glared and shot himself at Zim, knocking the alien backwards. They tumbled together until they hit Zim's Voot Cruiser, which lay cleverly hidden behind a curtain.

Zim laughed again and picked Dib up with one hand. "You cannot defeat Zim!"

"I beg to differ."

With that last word Dib shot his rocket at the remote, knocking his father back into the machine. When he hit it sparks flew from the body, his father having knocked some pieces loose. Dib laughed, only stopping when Zim threw him in the Voot and pressed a button. Dib pounded on the glass, pressing buttons and pulling levers, hoping to escape. It was too late.

"Autopilot activated. Destination: Irk."

Dib felt a chill through his metal body. Irk? Isn't that where Zim…? He frantically pressed buttons to no avail. Zim had locked him into the autopilot sequence with no way out until he reached Irk.

He heard Zim laughing maniacally as Dib beat his fists against the glass.


	6. Irk

**Author's Note: I am having the worst week ever. I lost my best friend in the whole world one day. She has been my friend since we were 8 and we got in a huge fight and now we're not friends. And on top of that I am having serious boyfriend issues. I'm not sure whether I want to beat my head against a wall, gouge out my eyes with a spork, or write ferociously. Guess which one I'm going to go with. Anyway, I am really hoping you guys will review. I have one dedicated reviewer so far and I'd like to know what the rest of you think. I am open to criticism. Promise. Even flames are okay. Flames provide insight sometimes. Let me know. C'mon guys.**

**So here it is. Earlier than I expected. Blame emotional stress.**

**~DeathlyFlames**

**Right. Forgot.**

**BETA: Meggii of Mysteri OusStranger - .net/u/1054584/  
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><p>Dib had given up. He pressed every button, pulled every lever, and flipped every switch on this stupid Voot, but nothing worked. Without sleep he couldn't even say how long he'd been traveling. He could say, however, that he had never expected to see space like he did now. He had infinite time to just watch the stars and galaxies as he sped by. Dib was almost thankful to Zim at times like that, when all he wanted to do was watch the universe. It was so glorious and magical and there was absolutely nothing like it.<p>

Dib reminisced sometimes, too. He remembered school, his father, and his sister. Sometimes he even missed Zim. Though the universe was beautiful, he longed for company. After what seemed like an endless amount of time, Dib began to wonder how long it would take to reach Irk or, for that matter, if he'd ever get there.

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><p>Dib's question was answered one day. He wasn't sure how long it had been, but Dib felt the ship tug towards a planet and increase in speed. When he looked at his destination, he beheld a large planet, larger than Earth, and a mix of pink and grey. He saw the ground rush towards him as the ship fell through the atmosphere. Dib braced for impact, but was surprised when the ship landed gracefully. When Dib looked out the window he saw Irkens walking around, talking, laughing. They all looked like Zim, with different colored eyes. Dib was struck by how short most of them were, and how normal their lives were.<p>

Then he saw the military. At least, he assumed it was military. There were Irkens in various uniforms marching across the ground. Two of them noticed Dib and walked over the Voot.

"Identify yourself." Dib was taken aback. What should he say?

Before he could answer one officer opened the door to the Voot and looked inside before talking to his partner. "There's no one in here, just a SIR unit. You!" he addressed Dib this time, "Where is your master? Were you a part of the last Great Assigning?" Dib thought for a moment.

"My master has been terminated. I have returned for service." Dib said, sure he sounded like a SIR would. The guards looked at each other. One nodded. Dib was grabbed and hoisted into the air. He tried to jump back into the Voot, but was stuck in the guard's grasp. He panicked, unsure of where SIRs who 'returned for service' would be taken. He watched in dismay as Zim's ship was taken away.

Dib wasn't waiting long before he found himself entering a very large metal building. Despite how normal the few citizens Dib saw seemed to be, the planet still seemed designed for military purpose. Everything was metal and clean and official.

Dib was carted through various doors before he was taken to a desk. A very bored looking Irken was staring into space. He straightened up and busied himself as the guards approached.

"This SIR unit was found without a commander." The guard holding Dib dropped him on the desk. The Irken nodded and took Dib behind another door as the guards left.

Inside Dib saw a giant factory, with conveyor belts and robots being built and fixed. He was dropped into a container with other SIRs. The label was written in a strange language Dib assumed to be Irken, so he couldn't read what it said. He did notice that all the SIRs in this container were fully built, but seemed to have some kind of problem, like missing limbs. He tried to jump out, escape the only thought on his mind, but was snagged by a giant metal arm. He was swung around and dropped onto a belt that took him towards a black machine. The machine was taking in the broken robots and spitting out the fixed ones on the other side.

Trying to avoid the machine, Dib jumped off the belt and ran towards the door he came in from. There didn't seem to be any workers, just automated machinery. Relieved, Dib was sure he was home free when he saw the door. He panicked when he saw the door start to open and he ducked into a nearby door. He sighed, leaning against the metal and looking up. He was in some sort of training facility. He saw SIR units shooting at targets using their weaponry. Dib saw a line of SIRs standing just ahead of him and he ran into line. At the front of the line, a computer addressed each SIR before scanning and placing them into two separate lines. Dib didn't know what the lines were for, but he didn't have time to ponder on it as his turn came.

"SIR unit. Confirm." Dib wasn't sure what to say, and he cursed himself for not paying closer attention to the others in line, so he just went with a simple "Affirmative." That sounded robot-like, and apparently the computer accepted the answer because it scanned him with a blue light.

"SIR unit analysis: Functional. Conclusion: Training." The computer picked Dib up with a claw arm and put him in the left line.

Dib was last in line, and the robots all began to march towards the groups of robots who were fighting. Dib followed the other SIRs against his desire to run, curious. Why were the robots being trained? Dib knew that SIRs were paired with Invaders, but he wasn't sure if that meant that another invasion was soon. He also wasn't sure why a robot would need training. Couldn't knowledge just be programmed? As he marched with the others, he realized this choice was really all he had, being unsure of how to control a normal Voot, and not knowing where Zim's was. He had become so used to Tak's ship, the one that she built herself that had completely different controls, that he wasn't sure how to control a normal Voot. Being in robot form did not make traveling outside the factory easily.

Dib resigned himself to stay here until he could figure out what to do next. He was trapped.


	7. Opportunity

**Author's Note: Sorry I'm taking so long to update. I haven't been writing as much since I'm moving all over. I'm getting an apartment this week! :D So once everything settles down this will probably become more regular. I have all the chapters planned I just have to write them out. This chapter is kinda short but it's more for information and filler for the more juicy chapters coming up. Prepare for the epicness cuz thats what comes next!**

**~DeathlyFlames**

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><p>D.I.B. Chapter 7<p>

Zim watched as the Voot flew off in the direction of Irk. Zim laughed and turned back to the Professor, relieved that none of the humans had noticed his ship leaving. They were busy with the commotion the machine had caused during its malfunction. Membrane was staring at the sparking machines, unthinking. Zim walked onto stage and gestured to the frantic humans. The crowd settled to listen.

"People of Earth. No need to panic. The machine is simply broken, and the disgusting filth child is gone."

A few people in the crown spoke out.

"Broken?"

"What about world hunger?"

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"Silence! Do not worry your stinky human livers about this. Zim will fix all." Without another word, Zim grabbed the Professor and left, leaving the machine behind. Zim would have the computer take care of the machine later. Right now he needed to put his new plan into action. He called the Professor over and walked back to the base. There was no Dib to stop him now.

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><p>Dib shot a couple targets and flipped, kicking another target. He wasn't exactly center, but he was improving greatly since he had entered the facility a couple days before. Without the ability to walk freely on Irk and without access to a Voot, Dib had no way of returning to Earth. For now, until an opportunity arose, he was resigned to waiting it out, training his SIR body.<p>

He had never noticed much about Gir while on Earth. He had seen that the robot was truly an idiot, and that he lacked any common sense. Dib had assumed all robots were like this until he met Mimi. But Mimi, like her ship, was handmade by Tak. That meant that like her ship, the technology was vastly different than standard equipment. So until Dib had come to Irk, he had never realized how powerful a standard-issue SIR unit was.

They had near perfect aim to begin with, using their training to hone their sensors. He also found that SIRs were in fact sentient machines. They thought for themselves and had the ability to problem solve. He also learned that SIRs went by a code where in the event of their master being unable to complete the mission or misusing his SIR unit, the SIR was allowed to act independently, keeping the good of the mission in mind.

Though Dib trained frequently, he needed other things to occupy his time. As he lived in this facility, days blended into weeks and weeks into months. It was hard for Dib to keep track of how long he had been on Irk when he needed no sleep, had no meals to count, no calendar, or sun. Dib used his down time from training to study SIRs internally. He grabbed unused robots from the factory and took them apart, learning new things that even his father hadn't discovered. Life had become routine, easy. He almost forgot to miss Earth sometimes.

One day, his routine was broken. The facility had workers that wandered in sometimes, checking on progress, taking notes. One day he heard them discuss something called the Great Assigning and something called Impending Doom III.

For days he tried to spy on the workers and catch as much as he could about what was happening on Irk. He found out that the last mission had been such a success that they were starting another Impending Doom plan immediately. He knew that SIRs were given away on these missions. It was his chance. He could file in as a normal SIR unit and be assigned to an Irken.

Dib knew this was his chance. While in a Voot with an Irken, he could take over the ship and fly it to Earth. He figured that with his weaponry he had a good chance of overtaking whatever pathetic alien he was paired with.

Dib set to work, training as much as he could as the invasion neared.


End file.
